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We’re often quick to offer a kind word to a friend who’s struggling - but when it comes to ourselves, that same kindness can be surprisingly hard to find.
Self-compassion is about changing that.
What is Self-Compassion?
The powerful tool of self-compassion is about learning to treat ourselves with understanding, patience, and care, especially when things don’t go as planned. It’s not self-pity or avoidance; it’s giving ourselves the support we’d naturally give someone we love.
This gentle shift can make all the difference in how we navigate challenges and build resilience.
Self-compassion is about turning towards difficult and painful feelings and taking action to ease pain and suffering, rather than ignoring it or judging ourselves.
To better understand self-compassion, take a look at the three main pillars:
Self-kindness: This means having a willingness to take care of ourselves and to challenge our inner-critic. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. To learn how to start shifting negative thoughts, take a look at our Thought Challenging worksheet.
Common humanity: Remember, all humans suffer. It is a normal experience- ‘everybody hurts sometimes’. By recognising and understanding others’ suffering and vulnerability, we are likely to feel less alone.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness is about sitting with uncomfortable feelings in a non-judgmental way, and putting some distance on them. “I am having this experience, but I’m not defined by this experience.”
In the short video below we show you how mindfulness helps you manage in the moment.
How to Practise Self-Compassion
Here are some examples of practicing self-compassion that you can incorporate into your daily life. Try writing them down or saying them out loud in front of a mirror:
It’s okay to make mistakes, nobody is perfect – and I am learning to forgive myself.
It is not selfish to show kindness to myself.
I will try not to let self-doubt or judgment hold me back from reaching my goals.
I will try to be fully present when completing a task today.
I am allowed to say no to others and yes to myself.
Changing is not easy, but it’s easier if I stop being hard on myself.
Self-Compassion = Learning New Skills
The art of self-compassion can come from recognising that you are suffering and having the desire to learn new skills to help you manage. If you’re unsure, you can check your levels of stress, anxiety, or low mood and see if you might benefit from learning some of our specific programs to improve your quality of life. Take a look at our Wellbeing Test.
You could also browse through our evidence-based programs to see if there’s one that suits your needs.