Written by Clinical Psychologist, Katie Dobinson 

We’ve all had a bad night’s sleep from time to time, especially when times are tough, stressful, or we’re dealing with change. Once these stressful life events come and go, sleep tends to settle back into its comfortable rhythm. However, sometimes this isn’t the case – difficulties falling or staying asleep can persist and impact our waking life. When this occurs, the consequences can include tiredness, anxiety, low energy – all of which may be indicators of a sleep condition like insomnia. 

What is insomnia? 

Insomnia is a sleep condition defined as experiencing dissatisfaction with sleep quantity or quality over a period of at least three months. The sleep-related issues include one or more of these common issues: 

• Difficult initiating sleep 
• Difficulty maintaining sleep 
• Waking too early, unable to fall back to sleep (American Psychological Association, 2013) 

Sleep is a key foundation for our mental and physical health. When our sleep is disrupted, we are more vulnerable to experiencing painful emotions, and our ability to manage (or regulate) our thoughts, feelings and behaviours is impacted. 

So, improving your sleep if you’re experiencing difficulty falling asleep and/or staying asleep is a great place to start in improving overall wellbeing. 

Sleep effort – the more you try, the worse it can get 

When facing a problem in life, trying hard to fix it makes sense in most situations. However, when we have difficulties sleeping, this might make us try harder to sleep. This is known as ‘Sleep Effort’, meaning we spend lots of time and effort trying to sleep. Ironically, the more we ‘try’ to sleep, the harder it can be to relax and finally get those much needed zzz’s. 

The more we try to force sleep, the more we reinforce worried thoughts like “I’ll never get back to sleep”, or “I won’t be able to cope tomorrow if I’m tired” which increases our anxiety levels, creating a struggle between our desire VS our ability to sleep.  

Stress-less and sleep better using ‘Worry Time’ skills 

Life can get so busy that you might not notice all the things on your mind, the to-do list of life, or worried thoughts until your head hits the pillow when you go to bed. This can condition sleep or bedtime with worry and anxiety, a common issue that maintains poor sleep.  

Worry Time is a skill that involves setting aside a specific time during the day (and not immediately before you go to bed), where you can process the day’s events, address worried thoughts or problems, and essentially “brain dump” whatever is on your mind.

It helps to pick a time each day (e.g., after work) to spend 10 to 20 minutes focussing on any worries you may have. When a worry pops up throughout the day outside of this time, you can write it down on a list to address during your ‘Worry Time’, and refocus your attention to the task at hand.  

This can help as a skill to manage anxiety, as well as preventing the likelihood that all your worries will arise when you go to bed, as you’ve had time to think them through already. That way, if a worry comes up when you’re going to sleep, you can remind yourself to let it go, and address it in tomorrow’s Worry Time.

Create a flexible wind-down routine 

Relaxing and unwinding before bed helps to indicate to the body that now is a time for resting, not for busy activity. A wind-down routine is something you can develop as a way to relax and unwind before heading to bed. It might involve taking a warm shower, reading, listening to calming music, stretching, or any other activity that reduces arousal. The idea is not to focus on sleep, rather, it’s to create a calm, relaxing routine that helps you slow yourself down ahead of going to bed.  

Wind-down routines can be flexible. The important thing is to avoid doing things that will increase arousal and keep you ‘wired’. (Keep reading to download our wind-down routine resource!).

So, what else can help with my sleep troubles? 

Using an approach of acceptance when it comes to sleep difficulties is one of many evidence-based skills that can treat insomnia. For example, rather than trying and trying to sleep without much luck, shifting our thoughts to an acceptance approach can help our mind and body relax when it’s time for bed.

Instead of saying to yourself “I’ll never get back to sleep” you could think “It’s okay that I’m awake now. Sleep will come when it’s ready”.   

Acceptance is a helpful skill to reduce worry around sleep, yet there are so many more important and achievable skills that help to overcome sleep difficulties. The THIS WAY UP Insomnia Treatment Program is a free, evidence-based Cognitive Behavioural intervention that can teach you the tools you need to get a good night’s sleep – for the long-run.  

If you’re ready to improve your sleep, and notice how targeting this one area can lead to reduced anxiety, improved mood, more energy and improvements to your work and relationships as a result, why wait? You can access the Insomnia Program here.

Bonus Resource! My Wind-Down Routine

A wind-down routine is all about helping your mind and body know that it’s time to slow down and get ready for rest. The routine doesn’t need to be rigid, in fact, we want to ensure that we are flexible and not pressured before bedtime. Think of your wind-down routine as your list of actions that are relaxing, and not activating. These are things you can do before bed to get you in the headspace for rest.

Take a look at some of these ideas for your wind-down routine and try out some that resonate with you. You may wish to start your wind-down routine about 60 – 30 mins before heading to bed.

Download your Wind-Down Routine here.