Stuck in a revolving door of worry and rumination?
Written by Clinical Psychologist, Katie Dobinson
Worry and rumination are both types of repetitive negative thinking, whereby we get stuck thinking over and over about life’s challenges.
When we get stuck in repetitive, negative thoughts about past mistakes, interactions, or decisions, this is known as rumination.
Worrying is a very similar mental process, involving repetitive thoughts about our future fears, concerns about what might happen next, and uncertainty.
If you’ve ever felt stuck with the same worrisome thoughts looping around in your mind, you’re not alone! We all worry and ruminate from time to time. In fact, a little bit of repetitive thinking is necessary, as it helps us solve problems, learn from our mistakes, process emotions, and encourages personal growth.
But how much worry is too much? And how can we learn to un-hook from repetitive, negative thoughts when our thinking is no longer helping us to make a decision or take action?
Breaking free of repetitive thinking patterns
Getting stuck in worry and rumination can feel a lot like being stuck in a revolving door. Thinking over and over about that mistake you made at work, or how you’re going to manage that difficult conversation with your friend next week, or perhaps fears about health, money and the future, these are all common themes of worry and rumination that lead to stress, anxiety, and low mood.
We can spend too much time walking round in circles in the revolving door of rumination, thinking and worrying, without realising there are healthy alternative strategies to help us get out of the revolving door and into our lives.
Take action on repetitive negative thinking
When left unchecked, excessive levels of worry and rumination can lead us more vulnerable to worsening mental health. These repetitive negative thinking patterns are common in both anxiety and depression, and can maintain the body’s stress response.
In this article we want to teach you the Three Rules of Thumb, a useful checklist for your repetitive thinking that helps you know when it’s time for a little less thinking in the rumination revolving door, and the right time to take action. Only when we take action can we step out of the constant repeat.
The Three Rules of Thumb Checklist is an evidence-based, simple, and effective skill you can use to identify if your worry or rumination is helpful or not.
The Three Rules of Thumb Checklist can guide you out of the revolving door of rumination and into a more helpful place of decision and action.
Generally speaking, worrying and ruminating are unhelpful when:
- Your thinking is not leading to a decision, plan or action
- Your thinking is going on for too long (more than 30 minutes), and
- Your thinking is not about an answerable question or a situation that you can do something about to resolve the problem.
Steve had an argument with his partner last week about how they’re spending their time on the weekend. They didn’t come to an agreement about how much time to spend together, and how much time to spend independently seeing friends, with each partner having different needs and commitments demanding their attention. Steve’s partner Riley was pretty upset at the time. Steve has been spending every night this week thinking over and over the conversation they had, recalling what he said, how they couldn’t reach a compromise, and the memory of Riley crying kept popping into his mind, disrupting his sleep. Steve’s ruminations were interrupting his concentration at work, and he found himself constantly thinking about last week’s conversation.
Steve applied the Three Rules of Thumb Checklist, to help him figure out what might help:
- Your thinking is not leading to a decision, plan or action: Yes – Steve was focused on thinking about the conversation from last weekend with Riley, rather than thinking about what might help next.
- Your thinking is going on for too long (more than 30 minutes): Yes – Steve had been getting stuck ruminating on the conversation for at least 30 minutes every day for the past week. His thinking was clearly getting in the way of the tasks he needed to do, and going on for too long.
- Your thinking is not about an answerable question or a situation that you can do something about to resolve the problem: No – whilst Steve’s thinking at this stage was unhelpful, there was something he could do about the situation. Thinking about the issue of how to spend time on the weekends with his partner was an important part of solving the problem, however Steve needed to take a problem-solving approach rather than focusing on the conversation from last week over and over.
Steve decided to keep thinking about the issue, but in a more practiced way. He brainstormed possible solutions, such as talking again to Riley, speaking with a friend or therapist, and doing exercise to break the ruminative thoughts.
The above is just one example of how the Three Rules of Thumb Checklist can help to identify where repetitive thinking is and isn’t working for you.
If you’d like to learn more about how to break free from the revolving door of rumination, try the THIS WAY UP Generalised Anxiety Program.
Don’t forget to download + save/print our Three Rules of Thumb resource to keep your worry and rumination in check!
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